Aug 7, 2009

Here it is 11:00 at night. I just got through working on my family search so I thought I would write a little on my blogg. I hope things get a little better with my family. It has been about four weeks or more since we gave the bussiness to Davit Hull and when I say give I mean give and it is hard to let something that has been in the family for about thirty years go. I don't really understand the people that we let it go to how they can treat Dean like they do. I know why they let the Bushars go because they wanted to do their own thing but to be actly not very nice to is another thing. I hope that Dean can really get out of there so we can go on with our life. I really wish Dean and I could get to go on our mission as we were going to about three or four years ago but Dean keeps saying we don't have money but I know if he would let it go that the Lord would provide so we could go. We really don't have very much money coming in but I know we could do it if we simply have the faith and Dean really wonted to go. I feel we need to really get out of here so we can forget things.

I hope that one day I can really forgive everyone for the things that they have done to make our family have the problem we are having. There are some people that made some of the family atmost hate one another some has come right and told the oones that they hurt that they were sorry but others haven't. I hope some day everybody will do it because we need to be able to forgive. I love all of my family and when I say all I mean the in-laws they are really my family and I hope we can be a family again.

We are having a family fast so we can have the spirit with us all. I love you all and hope I haven't hurt anyones feelings.

Trust this and start right now imagining your life exactly as you want it to be. The challenge of the time in which we live is no longer how much pain can we endure, but how big can we dream, how much joy can we hold, and how long will we let it be they way? Pain and struggle are familiar to all of us, yet it is not our natural state. Our natural state is to feel good and to know happyness. I used to walk around the house repeating between fifty to one hundred times a day, "I am happy, l ife is easy, and it is familiar." I would notice and catch myself making life hareder than it had to be and say to myself, Some part of me is still believing I am a victim and that life has to be hard. Then I sould ask myself, What do I want? I want to feel good, I want to be happy, and I want others to feel good just being around me. Then I would translate that into self-affirmations and say to myself, I am feeling good. I am happy. I am experiencing others feeliing good just from being in my prrence.

whatever you are currently dealing with , know that it no longer has to be hard or rake a long time. to change . Your intention to feel good right now willbe honored and your life will strt to change. Keep coming back to that and thinkgood thoughts as many times as you need to. It will become your reality.

Love to my family and hope you will feel good about your family . Your brothers and sisters as well as your children and I hope you will be happy you are in the family that you are in. May the Lord bless and keep you through out your life. I love each and every one of you and I can't tell you this enough. Love Mom